Whoa Z and x make the same sound
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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