can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
