So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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