I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
