He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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