it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
