You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
