pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize