Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Drunk is not a location!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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