Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
