uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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