She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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