why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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