So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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