I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize