Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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