I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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