I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am available for nakedness
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
