So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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