I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
