Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
