I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize