u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
