So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
