I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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