i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dick very happy bro
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
