Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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