How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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