Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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