the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
