Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
