she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
