Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
