Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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