he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
