the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
