??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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