so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
