Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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