then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
