ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
