You're my little dorito
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
