Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
