I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
