8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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