If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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