we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
