i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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