Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
