I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
