i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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