i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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