i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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