Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
