last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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