I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
