thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize