I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
