nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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