UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
