yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
