things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
