I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so explain again why im purple
no
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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