She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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