she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
