Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
