I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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