She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
