I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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