do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
