dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize