I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
